And I close the door of my darkened chamber; I sit- (midst of my four-walled confinement) Beside fire- heaving a sigh of relief- Numb. Then hours fled- My inanimate world comes to motion; commence with the recall of- Forgotten past in an undignified manner. Faces arouse in suspicion- From a curtained bitterness; And I listen to those unheard voices from many years back, All those symphonies which counts no one no more. Slowly and softly my flattered thoughts embark on a saddened ride, And the stormy wind outside turn into a grieving companion, Rains strengthen its piercing arrows hurting upon the window glass -in a sinful excitement, And that is when all the noises turned off- like none of them ever existed Quicker the foot steps of the last pedestrian dwindle away from nearby road, Leaving a loner behind in solitude. The enthusiasm in the fiery flames deaden quietly, And a cold silence wrap me up. I crawl into the bed and no sound I make I dare not awaken the ghosts from the dreamless slumber of night. So I close my eyes- But I hear again somewhere near a lost wind bewailing. Somewhere falls a broken branch crying aloud– I become so aware of my frenzied spines- my anesthetized being, And then I fall into sleep- Or I compelled to die . . . Adieu! Cursed shadows- the dwellers within me.
Towards my own shadow today I speak- No one to listen but to you I reveal my saddened heart which once have exulted in rapture.
There were no hours that we may call them together spent Hear me oh my sole companion, be still and numb Remember two shadows walked along with each other – As forever they meant.
And whilst our fledgling love was about to grow A shadow upon our shadows did hover– so cursed Blacken’d the sky – devouring all senses – and time – So far a decadence of ultimate sorrow.
Glowing sun deemed like an eclipse occurred upon the planet and you lost your grace in grievance under such turmoil. The arousal of all my agonies and the distress upon – The disappearance of my beloved.
Towards the end of days, obscene gathering of worsened thoughts- Scandalous notion of my unassailable fragmental desires And under the invading and dwindling crimson light I speak to you my shadow in silence so ominous.
In the midst of a long lone night,
Silence surrounding; silence within silence.
(Tick-tock – Tick-tock)except the clock ticking,
to mark the presence of time.
The clock, solely alive-breathing,
and this heart inside my chest-beating.
This dreadful night and a tiny crystallized dew drop-
crawling down through window glass,
Then hundreds came down, swarming
dazzling tiny sparkles,
reflecting the street light.
True, pure and beautiful..but
alive. Terrifying existence of nothingness.
A whisper aloud, buzzing around
and thriving negativity.
Time – drifting away in such swift mood
or it has stopped -numb.
Endless-pointless queries and this still-ness
creeping through the veins.
Words faded away from a book-aged,
from its curled yellowish pages.
Things unknown, letter enveloped- never opened,
mystery remained in mystery, unfolded.
Footprints those left long gone, withered.
Decaying walls- plasters falling,
memories engulfed and veiled in secrecy,
a life within life. A poem eluding,
arousal of worries; bitterness-hatred,
a darkness collapsing eventually.
Amidst a long lone night-
a night beneath starry sky; up above a lonely star fading.
Yet more a terrible journey and I waded far far away
The mind is in complete disarray; encroaching into a very mid-day.
I exist and alive; and now awakened but a weary sigh heaved
through nostrils toward my – Self; my being cleaved.
Etched on my mind the very illustration of my entangled past
enraged me whilst I watch memories buried underneath years of dust.
Vivid-ness of a bright sun curtains my spectrum, my senses disavowed,
Away back somewhere a mystery may have unfolded and a ship wreck foreshadowed.
Be-wilderness devour my conscious yet I fly in tiresome direction
Over the beechen green of a nameless woodland, or may it my only fraction;
Wings spread out journey on such weary feathers anesthetizing momentum,
Up in the sky and beneath the sea, there betwixt lie bits of me undisturbed inside a sanctum.
The timeline past pulverized, only me and this very moment now left
standing at this edge, await to slog myself out of this mountain cleft.
Twilight; in between light and dark
Hanging few moments that so crimson,
Mighty Sun lost somewhere in the horizon
Where now these eyes stuck.
A lone star behind me started twinkling
In my eyes reflecting those bloody rays
Quickened now withering.
Here comes the wintery night
Now falling so quickly,
I know not – how and why
But a numb and lonely feeling
Wrapping up my soul
Covering my heart slowly.
Shivering with the touch of falling dew on my skin,
Thinking of my unknown destiny
Inside me a frenzy begins.
A long, cold and lone night
Now waiting ahead
a room with a deathly silence
A dimmed light; a cold- lifeless bed.
In between light and dark
My life; ‘Tis now hanging,
Nowhere to go, nobody to hold my hand
Here sitting alone, surroundings I cannot see
Deep down inside me I am dying.