without you…

Day and night
it strikes me with anguish,
and I’m tormented by the thought
that I’m torn apart from you.
Then I close my eyes
softly,
slowly,
and I see you,
walking towards me
wearing blue,
amidst crowd
where none but only you alive,
only you exist my love,
rest of the world – lifeless
numb.
Only your smile,
your eyes,
gestures,
alive
and I fall in love
with you again.
I live there
until I open my eyes
and the world drops dead
once again
without you in it.

KaziMustakim_All Rights Reserved © 2017

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Art of Scars

Seeing an unfathomable darkness
from the cracks of her sparkling eyes,
he dove in and there he met her scarred
— vulnerable self and the beauty of her
broken heart which he was completely
unaware of, and he couldn’t restrain
himself from falling — for
The art of scars she bears beneath
her skin…

KaziMustakim_All Rights Reserved © 2017

Fragments from lone hours

And I close the door of my darkened chamber; I sit-
(midst of my four-walled confinement)
beside fire- heaving a sigh of relief- Numb. Then hours fled-
my inanimate world comes to motion; commence with the recall of-
forgotten past in an undignified manner. Faces arouse in suspicion-
from a curtained bitterness;
and I listen to those unheard voices from many years back,
all those symphonies which counts no one no more.
Slowly and softly my flattered thoughts embark on a saddened ride,
and the stormy wind outside turn into a grieving companion,
rains strengthen its piercing arrows hurting upon the window glass
-in a sinful excitement,
and that is when all the noises turned off- like none of them ever existed,
quicker the foot steps of the last pedestrian dwindle away from nearby road,
leaving a loner behind in solitude.
The enthusiasm in the fiery flames deaden quietly,
and a cold silence wrap me up. I crawl into the bed and no sound I make,
I dare not awaken the ghosts from the dreamless slumber of night.
So I close my eyes-
but I hear again somewhere near a lost wind bewailing.
Somewhere falls a broken branch crying aloud
I become so aware of my frenzied spines- my anesthetized being,
And then I fall into sleep-
Or I compelled to die . . .
Adieu! Cursed shadows- the dwellers within me.

KaziMustakim_All Rights Reserved © 2013

 

The Dam-na-tion

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A memory in a crack disc- a thought so disdain ,
A silent fear trickles down with the dripping sweat –
Sometime a voiceless voice stir vigorously- the nervous system.
The crowd- a turmoil, and those impassive faces, cold disorder,
There’s no sign of regret- or returning from formlessness,
Imperceptible acknowledgement of impenetrable A mystery,
The stillness ran into a riot-a massive destruction- a chaos,
Refusal in tone- rather disclosure of an unknown submissiveness,
Such hatred foiled and crafted beautifully- disgraceful and a disposal,
And heart, becomes a receptacle for deceased feelings-
More oft the sky rains- to pour life into lives, to pacify the disorder,
but every time receded-
Softly, and very slowly in terrible anguish, disconcerted-
A terror- a fire ventured in- diminishing all desires from hearts,
And no souls have left salvaging themSelves from straying-
Dispatched in haste-
tremble when passing through treacherous winter,
Icy touch and then solidity, and then shuddering into pieces –
All efforts in tremor.
And then comes in exquisite manner
Compelled into-

The Dam-na-tion.

KaziMustakim_All Rights Reserved © 2013

Fragmented thoughts from my diary . . .

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Creeping into Darkness

Crept into the cursed corner of my darkened dwelling –
When the accusation of innocent hours defunct me.
The silence of crowd penetrated my being with countless venomous darts,
My affectionate heart blackened by her rancorous touch;
When all the companions obscured my sight like stormy clouds
The voiceless scream palpitate my innermost rhythm with sarcasm,
When world’s all perplexities became incomprehensible statements,
And all arguments culminated in mockery and all seriousness into irony,
The Epitomes enraged a battle against each other in falsified manner,
And love deformed into an exchange of materialistic possessions,
Life lived by sensibility of cognizance where only nothingness nurtured,
And death reformed the world inexorably into a sane factor,
That delineated the whole play terminating all hope to the brink of bathos,
Where I no more contemplate my endeavors and-
That is when I crept into the cursed corner of my darkened dwelling . . .

KaziMustakim_All Rights Reserved © 2013

Call of Uncertainty

Gathering of thousand feelings in my lonesome engagement-
Amidst chaos of my flattered obscure thoughts- I shattered,
And scattered; moistened and bedewed by my doubtful nature-
Where silence of crowd bothers me; smothering grip upon my neck,
I feel pain such excruciating. Erotic-delicate-softened touch-
Of death alike. The hallowed ground is now fester’d by evil rapture,
The dyke broken and flood of blackish blood invading land of mortals,
And voices are drowned under sand of lies- gasping for air- air of truth.
Surface blackened by bloodless masqueraded faces; and there I sought for-
Absolute perfection- the rarest thing upon planet earth. But the errors,-
Delineated perfectly and I discerned their conspicuous decadence.
Then I excavated my Self from the grave of grasping hands of despair,
Still there left bits of me- Infected. Something alienated, so unknown creeping-
Through my veins- irresistible and incurable. My reformation- I may never-
Return and end up in my journey-
Nowhere – In nothingness.
The call of uncertainty screaming aloud . . .

KaziMustakim_All Rights Reserved © 2013