Fragments from lone hours

And I close the door of my darkened chamber; I sit-
(midst of my four-walled confinement)
Beside fire- heaving a sigh of relief- Numb. Then hours fled-
My inanimate world comes to motion; commence with the recall of-
Forgotten past in an undignified manner. Faces arouse in suspicion-
From a curtained bitterness;
And I listen to those unheard voices from many years back,
All those symphonies which counts no one no more.
Slowly and softly my flattered thoughts embark on a saddened ride,
And the stormy wind outside turn into a grieving companion,
Rains strengthen its piercing arrows hurting upon the window glass
-in a sinful excitement,
And that is when all the noises turned off- like none of them ever existed
Quicker the foot steps of the last pedestrian dwindle away from nearby road,
Leaving a loner behind in solitude.
The enthusiasm in the fiery flames deaden quietly,
And a cold silence wrap me up. I crawl into the bed and no sound I make
I dare not awaken the ghosts from the dreamless slumber of night.
So I close my eyes-
But I hear again somewhere near a lost wind bewailing.
Somewhere falls a broken branch crying aloud
I become so aware of my frenzied spines- my anesthetized being,
And then I fall into sleep-
Or I compelled to die . . .
Adieu! Cursed shadows- the dwellers within me.

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Note: Last night when I truly was feeling so lost inside and I started writing the feelings . . . . .

The Dam-na-tion

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A memory in a crack disc- a thought so disdain ,
A silent fear trickles down with the dripping sweat –
Sometime a voiceless voice stir vigorously- the nervous system.
The crowd- a turmoil, and those impassive faces, cold disorder,
There’s no sign of regret- or returning from formlessness,
Imperceptible acknowledgement of impenetrable A mystery,
The stillness ran into a riot-a massive destruction- a chaos,
Refusal in tone- rather disclosure of an unknown submissiveness,
Such hatred foiled and crafted beautifully- disgraceful and a disposal,
And heart, becomes a receptacle for deceased feelings-
More oft the sky rains- to pour life into lives, to pacify the disorder,
but every time receded-
Softly, and very slowly in terrible anguish, disconcerted-
A terror- a fire ventured in- diminishing all desires from hearts,
And no souls have left salvaging themSelves from straying-
Dispatched in haste-
tremble when passing through treacherous winter,
Icy touch and then solidity, and then shuddering into pieces –
All efforts in tremor.
And then comes in exquisite manner
Compelled into-

The Dam-na-tion.

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Fragmented thoughts from my diary . . .

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Conversation

Towards my own shadow today I speak- 
No one to listen but to you I reveal my saddened heart
                          which once have exulted in rapture.

There were no hours that we may call them together spent
Hear me oh my sole companion, be still and numb
Remember two shadows walked along with each other
                                        – As forever they meant.

And whilst our fledgling love was about to grow
A shadow upon our shadows did hover– so cursed
Blacken’d the sky – devouring all senses – and time
                  – So far a decadence of ultimate sorrow.

Glowing sun deemed like an eclipse occurred upon the planet
and you lost your grace in grievance under such turmoil. 
The arousal of all my agonies and the distress upon
                      – The disappearance of my beloved.

Towards the end of days, obscene gathering of worsened thoughts-
Scandalous notion of my unassailable fragmental desires
And under the invading and dwindling crimson light
               I speak to you my shadow in silence so ominous.

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Creeping into Darkness

Crept into the cursed corner of my darkened dwelling –
When the accusation of innocent hours defunct me.
The silence of crowd penetrated my being with countless venomous darts,
My affectionate heart blackened by her rancorous touch;
When all the companions obscured my sight like stormy clouds
The voiceless scream palpitate my innermost rhythm with sarcasm,
When world’s all perplexities became incomprehensible statements,
And all arguments culminated in mockery and all seriousness into irony,
The Epitomes enraged a battle against each other in falsified manner,
And love deformed into an exchange of materialistic possessions,
Life lived by sensibility of cognizance where only nothingness nurtured,
And death reformed the world inexorably into a sane factor,
That delineated the whole play terminating all hope to the brink of bathos,
Where I no more contemplate my endeavors and-
That is when I crept into the cursed corner of my darkened dwelling . . .

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Call of Uncertainty

Gathering of thousand feelings in my lonesome engagement-
Amidst chaos of my flattered obscure thoughts- I shattered,
And scattered; moistened and bedewed by my doubtful nature-
Where silence of crowd bothers me; smothering grip upon my neck,
I feel pain such excruciating. Erotic-delicate-softened touch-
Of death alike. The hallowed ground is now fester’d by evil rapture,
The dyke broken and flood of blackish blood invading land of mortals,
And voices are drowned under sand of lies- gasping for air- air of truth.
Surface blackened by bloodless masqueraded faces; and there I sought for-
Absolute perfection- the rarest thing upon planet earth. But the errors,-
Delineated perfectly and I discerned their conspicuous decadence.
Then I excavated my Self from the grave of grasping hands of despair,
Still there left bits of me- Infected. Something alienated, so unknown creeping-
Through my veins- irresistible and incurable. My reformation- I may never-
Return and end up in my journey-
Nowhere – In nothingness.
The call of uncertainty screaming aloud . . .

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In the midst of a long lone night

In the midst of a long lone night,
Silence surrounding; silence within silence.
(Tick-tock – Tick-tock)except the clock ticking,
to mark the presence of time.
The clock, solely alive-breathing,
and this heart inside my chest-beating.
This dreadful night and a tiny crystallized dew drop-
crawling down through window glass,
Then hundreds came down, swarming
dazzling tiny sparkles,
reflecting the street light.
True, pure and beautiful..but
alive. Terrifying existence of nothingness.
A whisper aloud, buzzing around
and thriving negativity.
Time – drifting away in such swift mood
or it has stopped -numb.
Endless-pointless queries and this still-ness
creeping through the veins.
Words faded away from a book-aged,
from its curled yellowish pages.
Things unknown, letter enveloped- never opened,
mystery remained in mystery, unfolded.
Footprints those left long gone, withered.
Decaying walls- plasters falling,
softly-very slowly-dying,
memories engulfed and veiled in secrecy,
a life within life. A poem eluding,
arousal of worries; bitterness-hatred,
a darkness collapsing eventually.
Amidst a long lone night-
a night beneath starry sky; up above a lonely star fading.

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….an incomplete poem of a heart ache

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He demurred and in wild impulse tried to pull himself all together,
but being shattered; and left in fragments solely to grieve upon thoughts of her.
A swarthy complexion aroused on his face; an incisive direction he starts wading,
seeking for the edge where the path led; why angels became so deceiving?
Daylight began to cursing him and he ran into a darkened den,
and moon light turned into a cold, shining knife slicing his very skin.
O her face, her murmuring voice, her songs poisoning the eyes and the ear,
all her touches crawling beneath the skin, through blood into his heart further.

The very thoughts of her lured him to his certain demise . . .

© copyright protected 2013

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